Saturday, February 4, 2012
The end....
It's hard to image living your life any differently than you have for the past 12 years. It's hard to say "I quit" to something you thought would last forever. How is it possible to love someone with all your heart yet hate everything about them too. I love my children more than anything else on this planet and right now I have to make a decision that will change their lives forever. I know that no matter what decision I make they will blame me and hate me for it at some point in their lives, I just wish it wasn't so hard to do. Trying to decide if I'd be better off without the person I have spent the last 12 years with, the father of my children, is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Today is one of those days where I just wish I could disappear and not have to think about any of this crap. I just want to be happy again, I just am not sure what that means anymore. I am looking at the beginning of the end of my marriage and family?
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Sometimes the hardest decisions are the right ones to make. But nothing I or anyone else can say will make it easier.....not matter how much I wish it would.
ReplyDeleteBut remember - your family isn't ending it is just changing. My family isn't who is there by blood or marriage; they are who I *chose* to have as a part of my life and who chose to be a part of mine....that includes my closest friends.
You are going to make it. I promise.